1. "O.
J. Finds Real Killer"
(republished
from The Onion's "Our Dumb Century")
2. The
O. J. Simpson Trial, As It Might Be Described by Dr. Seuss
(an anonymous
composition
circulated widely over the internet)
.
I did not kill
my lovely wife
I did not slash
her with a knife
I did not bonk
her on the head
I did not know
that she was dead.
I stayed at
home
that fateful night
I took a cab
then took a flight
The bag I had
was just for me
My bag! My bag!
Hey, leave it be.
When I came
home
I had a gash
My hand was cut
from broken glass
I cut my hand
on broken glass
A broken glass
did cause that gash.
I have
nothing,
nothing to hide
My friend, he
took me for a ride.
Did you take
this
person's life?
Did you do it
with a knife?
I did not do
it
with a knife
I did not, could
not kill my wife
I did not do
this awful crime
I could not,
would not anytime.
Did you hit
her
from above?
Did you drop
this bloody glove?
I did not hit
her from above
I cannot even
wear that glove
I did not do
it with a knife
I did not, could
not kill my wife
I did not do
this awful crime
I could not,
would not anytime.
And now I'm
free,
I can return
To my house for
which I yearn
And to my family
whom I love
Hey now I'm free
-- give back my glove!